What are FAQs and where can I buy one?
What do the letters B.A.D. stand for?
Could you be more specific?
You haven't updated this site in, like,
forever. What is your deal?
You list all these products, but why can’t I actually
What kind of business are you anyway?
Is this site for real?
I know you think these FAQs are clever and witty, but
I don’t find them that funny.
Can I buy one of your toddler prototypes?
How can I make my own toddler prototype?
Do you recommend hiding the fact that I’m developing
a toddler prototype from my friends and family for as long as possible?
Will you be producing anymore toddler prototypes?
list all these songs and albums you’ve recorded, but one is unable to
listen to them, or buy them, so what’s the point?
seriously, what gives?
equipment/software do you use for recording your music?
are your videos all hosted on YouTube instead of this site?
aren't all your videos available to watch online?
when will the next new video be posted?
are FAQs and where can I buy
is an acronym
for Freakin’ Awesome Quadrangles. These rare planar figures are
extremely valuable and can only be purchased from the most
extraordinary vendors. Fortunately, we are such a vendor. For more
information click the Product link and then click on FAQs.
do the letters B.A.D. stand
you be more specific?
Names. They stand for
You haven't updated this site in, like, forever.
What is your deal?
updated it with this question of yours have we not? What other
gives you such personal attention? (Please don't answer that
question). Believe me, we are working feverishly to update this
and when we do it is going to be big. I mean big. We might
change some fonts.
list all these products, but why can’t I actually buy anything?
yourself this: Has
your life become so superficial, so greedy, so caught up in material
possessions, that the only happiness you find is in buying things?
Frankly, you need help. When we show you products without allowing
you to buy them, it’s for your own good.
Of course, if at some
point in time we actually think we could make money by selling actual
products for actual money, we might kick your well-being to the curb
and cash in.
kind of business are you
Business? Who said we were a
business? We’re not a business, we are just a website masquerading
as a business, so we can secretly infiltrate the dark and mysterious
fraternity of businesses, learn their deep dark secrets, and then, in
a surprising and brilliant act of reversal, exposing them for what
they are, turning their own methods against them, and ultimately
triumphing over those who would oppose us to begin a new era of world
domination. Ummm…I probably shouldn’t have told you that.
this site for real?
course it is real. You got here by
using a real computer, did you not? You used a real browser, did you
not? (I guess you could have used Microsoft Explorer as well). You
are on the real internet, are you not? One can only conclude then,
that this is a real website.
know you think these FAQs are
clever and witty, but I don’t find them that funny.
are right. We are sorry. We’ve
worked all our lives to become clever and witty and funny, but it
just didn’t work out so we tried to pull the wool over your eyes
and fake it. But you were too smart. And doubtless too clever and
witty as well. But, since we are a little bit bitter that you
uncovered our charade, we should point out, that you didn’t
actually ask a question.
I buy one of your toddler
sorry, there is only
one MTD1 “Miles” toddler prototype. He cost considerable time
and money to develop and is, in fact still in development. Owing to
these facts, we are unable to sell him to anyone. However, for the
right price, we might be able to lend him to you for a couple of
hours. If this is insufficient, it is possible to make your own
can I make my own toddler
we’d love to give you
detailed instructions, but we think it better to ask your parents or
doctor. We should point out, however, that the appearance of your
own toddler prototype might vary significantly from that of the MTD1.
Also be advised that toddler prototypes are somewhat unstable,
lasting only a few years before frequently becoming something
you recommend hiding the fact
that I’m developing a toddler prototype from my friends and family
for as long as possible?
It’s fun. It’s
exciting. And eventually your family will forgive you. Probably. Maybe.
I think so. Try it and find out.
you be producing anymore
you not been paying attention? The CED toddler prototype has been
up and running for months. Sure we may have neglected this site
during that time, but really you ought to know these things. .
list all these songs and albums
you’ve recorded, but one is unable to listen to them, or buy them,
so what’s the point?
needed a few more pages to
fill out our web site.
a few of those songs
will have links that will allow you to listen to them. Check back
soon. Most of the songs will remain out of reach, however, as they
are copyrighted and we only distribute blatant ripoffs to family and
equipment/software do you use
for recording your music?
the songs currently on this
site were recorded using a clip on stereo mic that came with some
walkman purchased in Thailand. It worked surprisingly well. We have
since purchased a more professional recording microphone and someday we
will actually release a song recorded with it.
Our original album, “Tunes for
Jon-Jon and JoAnna” was recorded and mixed by pushing the Sound
Recorder in Windows Millennium far beyond its intended capabilities.
Subsequent albums were recorded and mixed using Magix Movie Studio.
Some songs were arranged using Finale PrintMusic. We have also
added Sony Acid Music studio to the mix.
are your videos all hosted on
YouTube instead of this site?
files are big. This
website is small. Besides anyone who is anything posts videos on
YouTube. And we do too.
aren't all of your videos available to watch online?
know it is so 20th Century, but we don't believe in posting every thing
for the whole world to see. Some videos, either because of length
or content, we have chosen not to post. These videos are
available, however, to friends and family. If you believe you fit
that category, let us know (by our real e-mail addresses) and we would
be happy to get it to you.
when will the next new video be
you ever heard the story
of the tortoise and the hare? You see, the tortoise and the hare
were having a race. It was a distance race. The start of the race
was all hype and fanfare. The hare got off to a quick start and soon
left both the tortoise and the crowds far in the distance. Then the
hare got a little bored. With his opponent so far behind, he had no
one to talk trash with. He realized that the race was not all it was
hyped up to be. Then, ahead on the road, he saw a fine looking
female rabbit. He decided that having a good home and a good family
were more important, and in the end, more satisfying than some
overhyped race. So he and the pretty rabbit settled down and started
a family, a big family (that’s the way of rabbits). The race soon
became a distant memory of a superficial past. In the mean time, the
tortoise trudged on, determined to finish the race. As he approached
the finish he realized that the tape had not been broken, that the
hare had not won. In this day and age, we do not remember all the
happy memories the hare shared with his wife and children. We do not
remember that the tortoise died old and alone, still clinging to the
glory of a single moment. All we remember is that the tortoise won